WHY AFRICAN WOMEN ARE OBSESSED WITH MARRIAGE NIGERIAN WOMEN AND MARRIAGE

WHY AFRICAN WOMEN ARE OBSESSED WITH MARRIAGE NIGERIAN WOMEN AND MARRIAGE

Today we are going to talk about why marriage is seen as an accomplishment for Nigerian women or let’s say the reasons why Nigerian women are obsessed with marriage. I had to say Nigerian women because I am a Nigerian and I can only speak for about my experience based on how I was brought up.

Influence from immediate family
Right from when you’re born into a Nigerian home, your gender determines how you will be trained and groomed in preparation for adult life and in this case marriage.

For a boy born into a Nigerian home, you’re trained to be strong, independent and assertive or let’s call it make the rules and demand that others should abide by it.  You’re not expected to cry outside. You have to hold it u together even when your world is shattered within.

And for the girls, you’re seen as an asset. You don’t understand what that means? Let me explain. As a girl, one of the main reasons some of your uncles and aunts will be very glad you’re born a girl is the fact that you will grow up to married to a very wealthy man that will pay twice the usual payment they demand for bride price and marital rituals. 

So, it seems your life is planned for you as a girl even before you have the time to realize you’re even a girl. And usually the milestone they have for you is to go to basic and secondary school and for families that can afford it, university and after that the best thing to do for yourself, your mom and family in general is to get that man that will sweep you off your feet and put a ring on your finger preferably a very wealthy one.

So, the days, months and years leading up to that special day, you’re taught the do’s and don’ts of being a good wife material. Wife material is a term Nigerians use to define a virtuous and good wife.

The fundamentals of homemaking, industry and service must be learned, and you dare not neglect any detail.

If you break a cup or do not wash the dishes properly the questions that you will hear will be na so you go do for your husband house? who go marry you?  make them no pursue you from your husband house oh

NOW, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE SOCIETY

The best thing you can do for the Nigerian society for you to earn their respect is to get married. It doesn’t matter how many sleepless nights and abuse you suffer in your husband’s house. Just get him to put the ring on your finger, change your last name and yes, stay married.

It is as if you’ve suddenly opened a door for people to respect and honor you. What is not unusual is when you go out to public places, with the ring on your finger, you will be treated in a dignifying way than your mates who are still single or unmarried.

The Nigerian society see marriage as an accomplishment for a woman. Now it doesn’t matter how many certificates you have, even if you’ve done your three doctorate programs, have a successful career, thriving business and car and house and you still bear your father’s name or let’s say you’ve not changed your last name to bear his name you’re still playing with your life.

And yes, I have to say that when you have a stable income or attain a moderate level of financial independence, successful job, they question if you have sugar daddies who have helped your life or given you all you have and when it is obvious that you worked hard for all you have, the question then becomes who will marry you?

That brings me to my third point, some Nigerian girls have been to trained to believe that you have to wait for your prince charming to save your poor and lonely life and suddenly bring you wealth.

So, when you have been industrious and financially independent, you’ll hear your friends say who will then marry you because they believe, the Nigerian man is supposed to be the bread winner, buy you all you need and meet all your financial needs.

And oh! my sweet Nigeria and weddings! You need to see the glam and the perfection that comes with every Nigerian wedding! I think Nigerians love partying and when it comes to wedding and finally tying the knot gosh! It’s something else!

If you follow social media accounts that talk about Nigerian wedding like wedding digest and Bella Naija, you will understand what I mean. They make ladies fantasize about the whole idea of being married. The designs, the choice of attire and everything involved all combine to make Nigerian girls look forward to getting married.

So, you see we are stuck. From our family to the society and the digital world. We are being told the greatest accomplishment for a Nigerian woman is to get marred and most importantly stay married.

So, what’s my stance about marriage as an accomplishment of a Nigerian woman? I FEEL THAT LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SO IS MARRIAGE.

It’s a privilege to share your life, dreams and aspirations with someone else. Marriage indeed is an accomplishment when your marriage has successfully weathered through financial woes, illnesses, having kids, and the general stresses of everyday life. Staying together in an era when over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce is certainly an achievement.

BUT IT IS NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT AND IN NO WAY DEFINES WHO A WOMAN IS.

GOD DID NOT JUST TAKE HIS TIME TO CREATE YOU JUST FOR YOU TO FEEL FULFILLED BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MAN IN YOUR LIFE!

Women are much more than being a man’s wife. What defines a woman is how she can fulfill that which her creator made her for, wear her various hats with grace and balance life successfully.

It’s a virtue to have your own calling and passions, pursue that everyday to make the world a better place, be a good mom to your kids and also gladly support your husband to achieve his dream. 

THAT THERE SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED AND THAT IS WHY MARRIAGE TO ME IS NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

WATCH ME TALK ABOUT THIS TOPIC IN THIS VIDEO

YOUR COMMENT IS ALWAYS TREASURED

SEX FOR GRADE IN Nigerian University